The Story of Brandy and Jason

ImageJason recently saw a beautiful girl walking one day and decided to approach her. Her name was Brandy. She wasn’t interested at first, but his persistence paid off and he not only got her phone number, but also a date for later on that night.

Jason: Hey Brandy, open up it’s me Jason

Brandy: Coming

opens door

Jason: Hey sexy. Damn you looking good in that lil’ fitted dress. Can I come in?

Brandy: I thought we were going out?

Jason: Yeah we are, I just gotta use the bathroom real quick.

Brandy: Um…ok.

He walks in and looks around the house. He sees that no one else is there.

Jason: Can you show me where the bathroom is sexy?

Brandy: Yeah…it’s right here. But why are you looking at me like that? Why are you getting so close?

Jason: Come here you know you want me.

Brandy: No I don’t, get off me. Jason, stop touching me. No Jason! Get off of me. Help! Somebody help me!

Brandy fights back but is unsuccessful. Jason rapes her and leaves her on the floor then leaves.

(1 week later)

Jason calls.

Brandy: Hello?

Jason: Hey whasup sexy.

Brandy: Why are you calling me. You took what you wanted now leave me alone.

Jason: C’mon you know you wanted me. I knew it too.

Brandy: How?

Jason: I saw the way you was wearing that lil fitted dress. It hugged your curves. Showed off your cleavage n everything. You wanted me, I could see it in your eyes. That’s the only reason you would’ve been asking for all that attention. So I gave it to you. You asked for it.

Brandy: Well it’s something you need to know.

Jason: What?

Brandy: I’m HIV positive.

Jason: Wait, you’re what?! Tell me you’re lying.

Brandy: No, I’m HIV positive. Don’t act surprised. You wanted HIV, I could see it in your eyes. The way you took me against my will. The way you ignored me when I told you to stop. The way you forced yourself into me and without protection. So I gave it to you. You asked for it.

Jason: You bitch! How could you do this to me?!

Brandy: Everyone knows you rape girls Jason. And you blame it on them. That they somehow asked for it. That the way they dressed warranted your sex even though their cries for you to stop meant nothing. I was given HIV when I was just 14 from a guy like you. He blamed me, just like you did. I even believed him and tried to kill myself. But instead, I decided to teach guys like him, guys like you, a lesson. You strip girls of their dignity based on what you see on the outside. So I’m going to strip you of your life based on what I know is on the inside.

The end.

DerrickJaxn

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He “Ain’t Shit”…but Is It Your Fault?

ImageYou ain’t shit, never was shit, ain’t gone be shit, and ya Momma ain’t shit. Now what?

Some people feel that the difference between a real man and an “Ain’t shit” guy has absolutely nothing to do with a woman. Kinda true but…Newsflash: EVERY man has the potential to be both and there’s something to be said about the role a woman plays in what she’s presented. For instance:

When you go to the club, I bet you wear something a little sexy, you accept a few drinks, and you jirate the night away without a worry in the world. Right? But…if you’re in an interview for an office job, you’re probably not singing at the top of your lungs, in a 3 point stance, dropping it like it’s hot. What changed? Was it your character, your morals, or your home training? No. It was your environment, your surroundings, and the people around you in which you were intending to make an impression on. So this same principal applies to men. Remember, men are RE-actors. Working out is a reaction to women liking muscles, having a job is a reaction to women liking money, and wearing condoms is a reaction to STDs and surprise babies.

So what does that mean for you? If you’ve attracted yourself a real man, one that has intentions on pursuing marriage and a family with the next woman he encounters, you canImage completely ruin that by disrespecting him or even worse yourself. He can be up for the Nobel Peace Prize but that won’t keep him from bringing out the worst in him should you beckon for it with unnecessary stress.

“ALL HE WANTED WAS SEX…JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER GUY”

Real men catch hell on this one. How convenient it would be if we could detach our penises and put it in a safe until the time was right, but guess what, we don’t work like that.The problem is, when women sift through to the good men, they think our hormones are on ice waiting for us to make our mind up about who we’re going to marry, which is the case approximately 0.034% of the time(according to a recent study). You see, physical arousal is a God-given element of being human and an involuntary response to being attracted to someone. So yeah, real men like love sex too and it’s not fair for you to hold that against us.  But if that’s the only way you’re making yourself valuable to us, we will accept it with a smile, and leave shortly thereafter it gets old much like the trademark of the “ain’t shit” guy. You will go on to deem us as being just like the others you’ve dealt with, only telling the world the one-sided truth(which is a lie) about how we only wanted sex. But you want to know the common denominator in your ratio of a-holes to great guys? YOU. Address that part of the equation, and you will have a better chance of changing what it equals to.

“BUT A REAL MAN WILL SHOW A WOMAN THAT ALL GUYS AREN’T THE SAME”

ImageSo, you want me to go on about how a real man treats every woman like a queen? He kisses your feet, rubs your ears, does all the cooking, and even when you do look fat, he tells you that he loves your curves…. Ok, we’ll go with that. But even the cutest little kitten will attack like a lion if you rub it wrong. Your only job is to keep a man true to his identity. If he’s an “ain’t shit” guy, be the kind of self-respecting, strong, classy woman that repels him. Not the kind that makes him feel right at home(rolling his weed, playing Xbox with him when you know he’s supposed to be looking for a job, accepting his disrespect). No, that doesn’t mean holding your vagina as collateral until he makes it official, because if he has no loyalty, then his relationship title will remain Single no matter what you call it. He’ll wait out your 90 day rule while he sleeps with your best friend and uses your tax refund to pay for the baby shower.

If he’s a real man, be that environment that’s conducive to that. Stroke his ego every now and then(it’s OK), let him know you got his back, and always hold him accountable for meaning what he says and vice versa. Just like a real woman, a real man knows his worth and he’s not about to waste any of it on a girl who’s showing she doesn’t know a good thing when it’s in front of her. The cape is getting less and less popular the more modern day independent women show themselves, so don’t expect some “Man of Steel” to come saving you from all of the bad habits you’ve held onto over the years while you play victim like you owe him that responsibility. “Ain’t shit” guys are out there, but instead of trying to avoid them, focus on being the one they try to avoid.Image

-Derrick Jaxn

10 Things HE Wishes You Understood

Image

*It’s ok to laugh. :)*

1. He does like to cuddle, but not when he’s horny, hungry, or sleepy.

2. “What he won’t do another man will”. Then remember that when it’s time for him to pay child support.

3. Even if he didn’t have something to hide, nothing good will ever come out of you going through his phone.

4. If a woman who cleans is outdated, then don’t go digging up chivalry when it’s time to pay the dinner tab either.

5. Stop giving your self an insult so he can correct you with a compliment.

6. If he has to be the one to put his life on the line when shit gets real, then yes, he expects you to cook.

7. It’s not that he’s tired of listening to you, he’s tired of hearing you talk. The listening stopped long ago.

8. No he won’t hit you, but daring him to doesn’t help the situation.

9. The silent treatment is like sending a rich kid to his room. He only pretends it’s punishment.

10. There’ll always be some girl that doesn’t have the flaws you do, but he’ll love you regardless.

-Derrick Jaxn

12 Things She Wishes You Understood

1.She’s a lover, but she’ll fight for you.

2.She’s not jealous, she just doesn’t want to lose you.

3.She’s not just emotional, she’s passionate.

4.She’s not stupid, she just trusted you.

5.She’s not needy, but she deserves your attention.

6.She’s not insecure, but she wants you to find her attractive.

7.She’s not rushing things, she just doesn’t have time for games.

8.She’s not judgmental, she just realizes your potential.

9.She doesn’t have trust issues, but she hates being lied to.

10.She loves the thought of being all yours, but not if you flirt with everyone else.

11.She’s not “too sensitive”, but she does have feelings.

12.She knows she’s complicated, but she still wishes you understood. 

-Derrick Jaxn

A Good Man Is Not That Hard to Find

Image. No one wants to be single forever searching for the perfect person but we also don’t want to give up hope and get less than we deserve. Single women are no stranger to this dillemma and it can be extremely difficult to play either side of the fence. But it’s not at all fair to say that good men are hard to find, or that there are no more left so I talked to some friends and got some interesting feedback about the topic and decided that it’s not that your standards are too high, you just need to prioritize them.

I will say that the higher your standards, the fewer you’re going to be able to have on the same level with a decent shot at finding love. Let’s look at your standards on a scale of importance from 1-10 with 10 being the least amount of tolerance to anything less than what you want. You’d probably want to have your standards set something like this:

5 standards- Level 10 (Ex: Loves God, Not Abusive, Good Hygiene, Hard Working, Honest)

4 standards- Level 8 (Ex: Good looks, Good job, Wants children, Ready to settle down)

3 standards- Level 5 (Ex: A lot of money, Well dressed, Sensitive)

Any lower and it’s not a standard…but this example gives a woman 12 things to require of her potential partner and happens to be quite realistic. You can’t possibly put all of them on the same level because while some things you should be willing to work with a man on, there are some that should never be compromised.  Don’t lower or erase your standards, but do choose wisely. Good men aren’t so hard to find, but they can be difficult to recognize. Image🙂

-Jaxn

What He Won’t Do, Another Man Will

ImageHearing this phrase is like walking in a port-a-potty barefoot. Yeah it disgusts me. I guess it’s supposed to put men in our “place” or show us how replaceable we are but it shows me a lot about a girls maturity or lack thereof when she says it. I say that because women are applying this thought to serious relationships as opposed to casual dates as it was meant to be. Why are you still shopping around for what another man will do? You’re going to end up losing a good man trying to live your life by these Google quotes. The grass ain’t always greener on the other side and this quote doesn’t have to go home to that lonely bed once you find out, you do.

Sure, if you’re not looking for anything serious, keeping your options open, by all means point him the other direction when he doesn’t meet your standards. But if you’ve got a good man, an “80%”, this quote will send you chasing that 20% for the rest of your life. Yes I do consider myself a “catch” and like most, I have pretty high standards for the woman I’m looking to build my future with. As soon as she says this, I know her mind is still in a place I left mine years ago and it’s time to keep it moving. Why you’re with me can’t be about what I “do” for you anyway, it should be about who I am and how that fits into your life. Watching these “reality” TV shows is slowly deteriorating our women’s sense of what it takes to grow with someone. I know this doesn’t apply to all women but there’s a growing population of those who don’t seem to know any better. For those who do, please break bread and be your sister’s keeper. For me. 🙂

-Jaxn

Unapproachable <<<—– Is This You?

Women love to be met, but tend to neglect their responsibility to be ready. This comes from years of misguided advice from media and mentors who didn’t have any more a clue than they did about how to attract the right guy. Being ready is to be approachable, not ‘appealing’.

I believe it starts at the first impression. For whatever reason, it seems like women want men to surprise them with their introduction, and call it being “original”. If this was a talent show, fine, but in real life a bland “Hi, how are you?” may be as genuine as it gets. Women have to stop expecting men to jump through flaming hoops reciting Shakespeare. I can see how it’s convenient for women to sit back and say, “Show me what you got”, but keep in mind there’s very creative assholes out there. Don’t make the first cuts based on the ‘hello’ unless it’s just way left field(i.e. “Ay yo bitch” is unnacceptable). Pick up on more subtle signs that are less voluntary. For instance, where does his eyes focus in the first 2 minutes of conversation? Being up close gives us a very tempting opportunity to see better what we couldn’t from a far especially when we have a hidden agenda. Knowing what too look for speaks to your priorities and therefore what kind of men are making it through your filter. Also, be careful of the subtle signals you send as well. A man with genuine intentions will do everything but run the other way when an attractive woman rolls her eyes unwelcoming his presence.

This brings me to my next point; The difference between Mr. Right approaching you and keeping his distance could also be your demeanor. Shake the whole “bad bitch” ora that you put on to prove how self-assured you are in public. You know the type; the road is her runway, nothing’s cool enough for her attention, if it rained she’d drown for her nose being so high, etc. While nothing’s wrong with looking and feeling great, men tend to feel more comfortable approaching women whos’ heads are still on their shoulders. I’ve even found that some women get approached more when in their comfortable wear which could very well speak to that point. It doesn’t mean he’s not “man enough”, but rather he doesn’t need any more stress in his life. Long story short, confident not cocky is ALWAYS the way to go.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to the kind of guy you’re in to. You’ll always be approachable to somebody, but who do you want that to be? Hint: Mr. Right 🙂

-Jaxn