You know the saying,”You can’t turn a ho into a housewife” but is the same true for men? Most times people(primarily women) like to apply the same logic with females to males but it’s a completely different ball game. We don’t think the same, feel the same, or react
the same 90 percent of the time. That remaining ten percent is usually with a homosexual man but as for the other 90, you can NOT change a ho into a house husband. You can, however, be the reason for that man’s change and still be the beneficiary of the new him.
What happens is, a man and woman will have a strong connection, great chemistry, and physically drawn to one another, but that man is still a slave to his single ways. While this is a red flag, wasting the potential of what could be special is a last resort so you try anyway. Then you start getting comfortable with the deep conversations and quality time, only to learn that you couldn’t change him after all. Now he’s a cheater and once a cheater, always a cheater right? WRONG! But a broken heart is hardly understanding, so you don’t want to hear it. He seemed liked the perfect guy for you, but now you see he’s just like all the other guys. Even though he starts doing everything to get you back, the trust has been severed and eventually you decided to just cut him off for good. This is the part where a lot of women go wrong. While your girlfriends are patting you on the back, you know deep down that something’s just not right about how you handled it. Your man cheated, so by no means does he DESERVE a second chance. However, if you feel like he’s worth it, there’s a right way to give him one. That way he doesn’t move on to another very happy relationship with a new woman; All because he was so heartbroken from making a choice that led to losing you, which was just what he needed to realize that cheating isn’t worth all the trouble it brings. Not only would you be stuck with a scarred heart, but also with the reality you put in the work, and she showed up to cash your check. Then you’ll be wondering, “Was it me?“.
So the right way to give a second chance, is LATER. Don’t make the mistake of immediately taking him back once he brings flowers, checks in every night, and takes the lock off his phone to show you he’s serious. All that does is show him there’s a way out in case he “slips up” again. You need to leave him but not permanently. This way, cheating will be associated with losing you for good by giving him a small taste of what it’d be like. They say you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone, but sometimes a reminder is worth some consideration. You have to do more than just make it “Facebook official”. This means no sex, no dates, no NOTHING…outside of casual small talk. Keep in contact with him so that he doesn’t lose hope in having another shot which is necessary for the process of this change to happen. Otherwise, he’ll accept that it’s not going to happen and move on. A good thing about creating this space between you two is not only does it open his eyes to a grim reality he doesn’t want to last any longer than it has to, but it also helps you dust off your heart and pick up some pieces that were on the ground broken.
This is only for the man you really feel like is worth the second chance. NOT the guy who’s putting his phone face down and on silent when you chill together. NOT the guy you call and he texts you back. NOT the guy who “accidentally” untags your couple’s pics online. NOT the guy who brings you and his side chick to counseling so you all can have a much healthier love triangle…
The man who’s been there for you when you needed him and is willing to do anything to make things right. Men cheat and it should NOT be tolerated. But don’t let another woman get what God had for you just because the timing you chose was wrong. If you’re going to go through the pain and suffering of renovating the house then you damn well deserve to be the one living in it when it’s good and remodeled.