Mary J. Blige, our beloved R&B and Burger King songstress, said it best, “Bad Boys ain’t no good. Good Boys ain’t no fun”. Maybe that’s why chivalry is getting ready to flat line any generation now.
Apparently, a gentleman isn’t quite as entertaining as a rapper yelling “I Need a Bad Bitch” is…and certainly not as popular. Since women seem to take pride in or aspire to be “bad bitches” these days, you have to wonder if that has anything to do with what men do to get your attention….
It’s no secret that women have been calling the shots since Eve told Adam which fruit to eat. Men are re-actors. You think we buy cologne, stay in the gym, and clean up before you come over for self-gratification? No. We do what we feel will put us in position to get what we want. As long as we’re “doing too much” by genuinely expressing interest but adored for playfully(or not so much) disrespecting you, we’ll do what you want us to do to get your attention.
Now, it’s normal for both men and women to want a challenge because nothing worth having comes easy. I get that. But if you want to feel accomplished, feel so for attracting a man who realizes your worth, not for pulling dudes who pretend they’re interested every now and then. Women have the power to make being a good guy cool, and if that becomes the case, way more good guys will show their faces. It’s not complicated at all. The age old technique of “Positive Reinforcement” is still effective. Reward the things you want to happen more often instead of punishing them with your dismissal. There’s nothing worse than being friend-zoned for being “too nice”.
I’m not blaming women for where good guys finish, I’m letting you know that you have more control than you give yourself credit for. Good morning texts, random gifts, and surprise romantic outings doesn’t mean a man is doing too much; but it could mean you’re probably not used to enough. I’ll be honest, good guys are outnumbered, but if we’re ever going to get out of last place, stop giving the other guys a head start.