I have to put some context around this answer before you start filling in your own blanks. Keep in mind, my perspective is formed from a small sample size of the people I’ve met so hold your “Nuh-unh not me’s” for the comment section. It’s not that easy to say yes or no but generally speaking, can we say that there seems to be a growing trend of black men choosing white women? Yes. Does that mean we prefer them….
What black men prefer is respect, to be allowed the leadership role in a relationship, some not so classy things in the bedroom, cooking, and defined roles. These are things that aren’t so high up on the priority list of the modern black woman, and while a lot of this is quite stereotypical, there’s some sense to be made of it all. A lot of us grew up in single parent households seeing our mothers, the strong black queens they are, holding it down, making it happen with little to no help. Our mothers passed down those hard learned life lessons to their daughters teaching them that self-sufficiency is the key to happiness. Now…our mothers were raised by a different generation and given the proper skills to raise a family within the structure of a traditional relationship, but had to go to plan B when Pops hit the highway. This is when those days of a man being the king of the household began to thin themselves out. So the modern black woman grew up with that reality in mind and doing whatever it took to not wake up to it. She also wasn’t taught to cook for a family, to keep a house clean, or to tolerate a man’s authority so long as she had money to go out to eat, cleaned up after herself, and was educated enough to make her own decisions. Anything else is borderline if not outright oppressive and outdated. It’s even prevalent in mainstream media. How many times have you heard anthems about a woman who wants to raise children and support a husband as opposed to ‘Independent chick” anthems? Many would say that black women aren’t as freaky as white women and even though that’s highly debatable, I’ll let you in on a little secret….brothers like freaky.
On the contrary, white women’s households kept much of those traditions in tact throughout the generations thus facilitating the stereotypical “Soccer Mom” persona that we associate with them today. They didn’t have the destruction of the communities, mass incarceration of their men, etc that we did. So there certainly are unfair odds in their favor when it comes to the traditional wife role being played.
What I’m saying is, the premise of a lot of these “stereotypes” actually holds up against historical logic. It’s not all just ignorance, bias, or one-sided perspectives. So after all this understanding and context that we now have, the question remains…do black men prefer white women? GENERALLY SPEAKING….NO. In 2012 it just seems to take so much more effort to love a modern black woman with everything it comes with. We want you, but we want you to support and appreciate us. You can’t confuse your attitudes with strength, us being a leader with oppression, or you being supportive with you taking a backseat. Those are the most common misconceptions that gets exhausting for us to deal with on top of the pressures of just being a black man in America. No, I’m not even remotely saying women only belong behind a stove and on her back. By all means, pursue your dreams, start your own businesses, enjoy life. But everybody can’t play point guard and expect to win a championship. Let men be men. By nature we are leaders, protectors, and providers. We have a loyalty to those innate characteristics before we have a loyalty to date within our race. I know, the modern black man’s not exactly a picture of perfection either, but if you’re going to cater your beliefs of a relationship to anyone, let it be the man who’s got his mind right. There’s plenty of us that prefer you and we’re more than willing to love you if you’ll just let us…