Mental Treadmill Pt.2

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wouldn’t say I’m a high profiled guy, but I think on some level I mean something to people. Unfortunately that goes both ways and one way more than the other at times. I see so many people every day and rarely do I get their honest thoughts of me when I meet them but rather a friendly hello or head nod. Even on a basic level, people are reluctant naturally to express how they really feel and it changes none the more serious the relationship. If I had a dime for everyone’s kind words that didn’t line up with their actions I’d be able to hire P. Diddy. I hate the type of people who only complain and act like life isn’t supposed to happen to them too but some things I’ll never understand. I feel like I was programmed with loyalty but the world is only compatible with fake and flaky systems. Sometimes you even have to question ‘karma’ like, God what did I do to deserve this? My life isn’t in shambles but I’m growing increasingly impatient with niggas who call you “friend” in vain  and they come a dime a dozen. I learned a long time ago that no one will have your back 100% of the time, so you have to. It’s just a cold way to live to refuse to trust but the other alternative is to play their game and mean nothing you say to them. Idk, just thinking in frustration to seldom finding people who hold loyalty in high regard or the fact that I can’t sleep at night tryna be one of them so I can fit in. This mental treadmill was definitely needed….

-Jaxn

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