Think Like a Man….but What About Us?

So I’ve finally watched the movie, “Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady” and I can truly say, job well done Steve. You’ve effectively convinced women to think they know how to trick a man into loving them the way they’ve always wanted. Trust me, I love women and want to help them find the love they deserve, but what Steve Harvey(who’s cheated on his wife several times)  conveniently neglected to mention is that not all men are like him. Taking the general conception that ‘Men ain’t shit’, he just categorized us all into those “good men waiting to happen” categories while there is actually a such thing as a good man just waiting for the right woman at the right time. I’m speaking from personal experience only but for instance:

1) The Mogul in the Making– Yes this is similar to the “dreamer” but not quite the same. This is the man who already has a lot going for himself and is focused on just that and nothing else. He’s a great guy, no criminal record, has good credit, morals etc. but he also has a plan for his life and a serious relationship and a family didn’t make the cut this round. Doesn’t mean he needs to be tricked, just a matter of time if you have the patience.

2) Shy Brotha– You all know the guy with no game, no swagger, no style? Well this is probably also the guy who’s willing to put you first if given the chance. Only thing is he can’t keep your attention because you’re looking for Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome with a 401k. No he may not approach you first, but if you shake those outdated traditions of “letting him come to you”, you’ll realize this great guy was just waiting to be found by a woman who knows treasure when she sees it.

3) Damaged Goods– “Ain’t Shit” women come a dime a dozen just like the men. So when they show their true colors to good men who chose to love them, there’s a grace period we need to regain our composure. No matter how tough we are, it’s this thing called human that makes it impossible to just brush off our shoulders when we invest our heart into someone who breaks it. He’s still a great guy, and because of that he’s going to want you to have your own clean slate rather than picking up where the last chick left off. He’s actually doing you a favor by not giving you what you want exactly when you want it.

I’m sure the list goes on of the kinds of men that are unsung in the topic of dating but those are the main three. Steve Harvey brought up an interesting topic and I appreciate that. Because women innately want to get what they want out of relationship rather than a mutual compromise from both sides, Steve’s movement will continue to thrive. He’s not wrong for seizing a business opportunity and giving us entertainment but be sure you can differentiate. I mean, don’t take advice from a comedian and then wonder why your love life is a joke. 🙂

-Jaxn

13 thoughts on “Think Like a Man….but What About Us?

  1. I appreciate this, although I would have to disagree that all women just want to get what they want. Sometimes, what they WANT is compromise. Sometimes what they WANT is to make someone else happy. I’m a big fan of Shy Brotha and have the confidence and patience (and compassion) for Damaged Goods. Don’t assume I’m one kind of woman and I won’t assume you’re one kind of man. Good post!

    • As far as women getting what they want, that was a quote from the movie when Steve Harvey said, “The key to getting what you want out of the relationship…” I was making a direct reference and should have done so a bit more clearly. I definitely know the difference between different kind of women. There’s the “Ain’t shit” population and then there’s the “Not perfect but worth it”. I hear you ma’am and thank you for reading 🙂
      -Jaxn

  2. Wow! I can only speak for me and not all women but I did not see the book nor the movie as a categorical depiction of all men. In my life, I am comfortable to say that I’ve met some great men who did not fall into the categories or stereotypes that Steve Harvey portrayed in the movie or the book. I do believe that all men are different, however, there are some men who do act and think the way the characters do/did. And for some women, it was a confirmation as to why some men have thought the way they have and acted in parallel to those thoughts. And in retrospect, I found myself in some of the traits of the women. Would that constitute me as being less of a woman or “damaged goods” because I set my standards high and look for things outside of the tangible, but the intangible? Some things that women look for are thought to be the simplest but yet the hardest things to find in a man.

    • First let me say, there’s ‘some’ truth to Steve Harvey’s logic. I wasn’t saying he was a complete lie, but rather he wasn’t telling the complete truth and with an incomplete thought you get a biased perspective which isn’t fair to the other guys. It was definitely a categorical depiction of men. He says think like a “man” but specifies the type of man in only those few categories he mentions. Meanwhile, brothas like myself who aren’t players, make decent-good money, good credit, etc. are get stereotyped by women who were taught the game by a player himself( 2 failed marriages). It’s not always hard to find things in a man, yet recognize those things in a man.
      -Jaxn

      • I understand what you are saying but when you do not find men like yourself often, it is hard to not be jaded by the men who are replicas of the men Harvey depicts. I am a woman who understands that everyone is different. I do not like being stereotyped just because I have 2 degrees, seek to obtain a Ph.D., enjoy working with diverse people, and refuse to be a product of my environment but often time, men see me as being something that I am not, which tends to leave me single. So in all aspects, we all are categorized based off of some sort of depiction, whether it’s from a comedian who might have learned from his past or the feminist who attempts to portray the struggle that many women face.

  3. Finally somebody says something about this! Too many people taking the characteristics of one man and associating it with all men.

  4. Love it! I borrowed the book from a friend after reading the fist sentence in the chapter 1, I was done. How is it you can tell me men are simple then proceed to write an entire book on how to get and understand one?

  5. I really don’t know why women/men look for someone to be with, then want to change them. I realize this isn’t everyone but why none the less? Being with someone who makes you happy the way they are should be front and foremost, not “how I can make them better”. Talking to make sure you have the same goals for futures are important too but also having dreams that the other supports
    .andhelps is also a big thing.

  6. I am so happy I found this site, I have seriously agreed with everything I have read. Its refreshing to know a man thinks this way. I often times get bitter reactions from ladies that I speak with about my beliefs. Mainly because I go into each situation with a fresh slate as I feel I should, I dont take the problems from my last relationship into my next, I am not comparing the new with the old. Im not a fool nor am I negligent to anything. I just feel like everyone deserves an opportunity to show themselves without the pressure of ol’ girl or ol’ boy’ you know? Great read. Keep them coming!

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