There’s a small group of people in this world that have never been betrayed or had their trust broken. As for the other 100% of us, we have or have had our share of trust issues. In my attempt to diagnose, prevent, and cure them, I’ve found that trust issues in essence are rooted in fear. The way that we normally rectify our fears is to face them but with matters of the heart, that can yield some very severe drawbacks. If you’re like most people then you’ve probably resulted to a state of “emotional independence” where we refuse to trust anyone again with our heart. Despite that all or nothing alternative that rarely works, I’ve come up with a few ways to steer clear of trust issues.
One way is to alter our expectations of what it means to be “trustworthy”. Given that we’re dealing with humans, we have to allow room for some mistakes; Alter, but not lower them so that we don’t become people’s doormats.Too many times we expect people to keep it 100% “real” with us but how many people are that with themselves? You for instance; how many times have you told yourself that you “don’t care” or “won’t do that again” without so much as crossing your fingers?…..Don’t worry, I’ll wait…….
Another way to lessen your chance of acquiring trust issues is to lengthen the time it takes for a person to gain your trust. No, I don’t mean haze them as a way of proving themselves. More times than not, your “trust boot camp” will only run them away. Just take your time. Lies are normally impatient but the truth is in no hurry, so give it time to reveal itself as just that.
The last way is to observe that person’s moral fiber. If they have none, you can count on them to hold very little importance on things like trust. People tend to be consistent with their character so don’t think someone is going to lie to everybody they know except you. This is where the quote “How he treats his momma is how he’ll treat you” comes from.
Other than that, you’ll have to take your risks just like everyone else. Just remember, the biggest risk is not taking one. 🙂