I always find it interesting when I hear guys say how they don’t like cuddling because of how soft it is. The word itself has a teddy bear-ish connotation but let’s look at the logic of it. A man and a woman lie next to or intertwined with each other while doing some other intimate activity like talking, watching a movie, or just relaxing. So, it’s safe to say that cuddling is the foreplay of foreplay which is the warm-up to having sex, which men claim to really enjoy right?
Now, I missed the part where it’s soft but maybe comparing it to more acceptable “manly” activities can help clear up the confusion. By manly, I mean with a lot of men because when guys crowd around in a tiny apartment living room, almost lapped up on the love seat to play their new Xbox game they got from Santa while passing weed to one another(weed that’s licked and sucked on by other men before it’s placed on their lips), none of that violates the guy code. And then there are those who will slap each other on the ass after a good play but won’t hold their lady’s hand in public. But here’s where it gets really weird.
Back in the day when I would go clubbing, I noticed how an R&B slow jam would come on and it literally pissed dudes off. They’d go sulk in the corner trying not to look awkward as they patiently awaited its ending, no matter how many beautiful women would be in the middle dancing with each other due to the shortage of males. But the moment Chief Keef came on, they flocked to the floor to play with each other. I was baffled, and wondered if it was something I was missing.
The truth was that allegedly heterosexual men really hadn’t changed much since the elementary days of pinching a girl to tell her we liked her. If it looked cool to other guys, it took precedence to what it actually made her feel like even though at the root of it, we all wanted the same thing; her. Call women hoes and bitches, get high-fives, but the moment we get respectful and start expressing emotion we’re told we’re acting like Drake. If we see a group of guys, we engage in complicated hand-shakes and warm embraces with each of them, apologetic if we missed one but we can’t hold our woman without needing to punch a wall to re-establish our masculinity.
Men have a way of condoning really dumb shit while trying to oust that which makes more sense but then wonder why women seem so complicated. So, I realized quickly that it wasn’t that I wasn’t good at being “manly”, it’s just that my definition was different.
Even if it didn’t lead to sex, cuddling has always been fun if it was timed correctly(when I wasn’t hungry or horny). Soft legs felt good against mine and a female’s face lying on my chest just felt…right. The sex is better after cuddling and cuddling is better after sex. The only way you can go wrong is if you’re just not that into the person you’re cuddling with, but sex is always better with feelings involved so even that doesn’t make sense.
Basically, there’s nothing more masculine than a man who does what it takes to make his woman smile. If he can find a way to deal with his insecurities of being accepted by other guys, he’ll see that a lot of those things will make him feel good too. Like kissing, cooking, and being a one-woman-man. And if he wants that one woman to stick around, he might as well get used to cuddling; because that’s not going anywhere.